


let it all behind us

by lmnbrg



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), President Toby Smith | Tubbo, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Misses Toby Smith | Tubbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28515087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmnbrg/pseuds/lmnbrg
Summary: [ mentions of suicide ]Where Tubbo finds Tommy right after Dream blows up Logstedshire, and comforts him. Then, he lets him go one more time. A last time.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 320





	let it all behind us

**Author's Note:**

> ONCE AGAIN, this fic contains implied / attempted suicide so if that is triggering for you please don't read! stay safe <3
> 
> I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN if you are here from twitter HELLO!! i know i don't shut up for a second. i really need a hug

The last thing Tubbo remembers is walking fast to Logstedshire, carefully so no one sees him, with his broken compass in hand. He remembers hoping the compass still works, that it leads him to Tommy. On his way, Tubbo also remembers seeing Dream leaving Logsted, and he hid as fast as he could behind a tree. Then, he got there.

And it felt like Tubbo was about to blank out.

There was this huge… tower. Not a cobblestone one, Tommy's trademark. Not that one — he would be relieved to see a ridiculous cobblestone tower instead of… whatever that was.

“Tommy?” Tubbo whispered, looking around in the tents. His anxiety rose by every second. “Tommy, are you here?”

He hears a very vague and weak, “Tubbo?” in the distance, and the president looks around. He sees nothing. Hearing it again, that's when he realizes Tommy is… up the tower.

_Oh my god_.

“Tommy? You're… are you alright? Jesus Christ—” Tubbo muttered his last two words, panicking. 

Tommy was looking down, he was losing balance from getting shocked by seeing Tubbo. A cracked sigh left Tubbo's mouth, and he smiled at his best friend in the sweetest and most reassuring way he could manage.

“Hey, Tommy. It's me!” Tubbo tried to keep his voice still. “Can you… come down? I promise it'll be alright. Please be careful.”

“Tubbo, you're… you're not—” Tommy's voice was unstable, it made it sound like he could break down at any moment. His eyes were empty, there was no blue anymore. “You never came.”

“I have. I have, Tommy.” he didn't lie. “Right now, I really need you to come down slowly. Please.”

“Why?”

“Because… I need to show you something cool.” Tubbo smiled again, and he tried to make himself believable. He extended his arm up to Tommy, showing him he's there. “Can you go in the water?”

“It's cold. I don't want to.” Tommy whispered back.

In an impulse, Tubbo ran quickly to the water and jumped in a loud splash. He wasn't able to see, but Tommy's eyes were almost shining. He blinked and pinched himself, making sure it was all real.

Tubbo shook his head once his head was out of the cold water, and chuckled lightheartedly. “It's not that bad! You can come.” 

That was a lie. He was freezing to death.

“I—okay, alright. I'll do it.”

… yeah. That wasn't exactly fun, Tommy would say. That felt like a hard slap in the face.

The first thing Tubbo rushed to do was get Tommy out of the ocean, making them both sit on the edge of the small beach. They both panted for air, Tubbo slowly patting Tommy's back.

“Sorry, I know it didn't feel nice.” Tubbo apologized, smiling again. “Are you alright?”

“Why are you here?” Tommy asked, but it didn't sound rude or arrogant, like he usually would sound like. It felt vulnerable.

“To see you.” Tubbo was honest. “I haven't—” he gulped. “—haven't had time. Quackity doesn't let me do much but my ‘president tasks.’ I found an opportunity to sneak out of L'manberg and came here.”

“Ah. Oh—okay.” Tommy replied in the same tone. Then, something made him shiver in pure fear, anxiety. He turned to Tubbo and tugged on his wet shirt. “I-Is Dream here? He's not—he's not here, right?”

Tubbo blinked. “No, he isn't. I saw him on his way out.” he reassured. Tommy still looked for something more, though. “I promise.”

Tubbo awkwardly reached out to Tommy, giving him a hug. He felt Tommy freeze for a split second, but in a matter of seconds he was able to calm down. Tubbo was shaking, too — Tommy noticed.

“I'm sorry, Tommy.” Tubbo rested his chin on Tommy's shoulder, looking down. “I didn't—”

“You didn't even come to my party.” Tommy sounded a bit angrier now.

“I didn't get any invite.” Tubbo furrowed his eyebrows. “What party?”

“Stop lying.”

“I'm not, Tommy.”

Crickets.

“Why did you do it?”

“I had to.”

“You chose L'manberg over me.”

“You chose the discs over me.”

“I had a plan—”

“—that would've gotten you killed, Tommy.” Tubbo interrupted, breaking their hug and looking at his best friend in the eyes. “Tommy, you're on your last life. Technoblade would've never sided with us, why couldn't you see it? He would have betrayed us the same second we thought we were victorious. You would've died, and maybe I would've, too. I don't want to lose you.”

“It's out of pity.” Tommy blurted out. “H-He told me. You're all my friends out of fuckin’ pity.”

“Don't say that.” Tubbo sounded a bit apprehensive. “I can't speak for everyone's behalf, but I can for myself — I care about you. It's alright if you don't believe me, but I want to tell you that I never did anything for you out of pity.”

Tommy started tearing up. Tubbo could see some glowing in his lifeless eyes — a dead flower blooming back to life. Though, he could see that Tommy was still unsure in his words.

_What did he do to you…?_

“Here, big T.” Tubbo gave him cookies he had baked earlier in a rush, when Quackity left for a while and Tubbo was able to get some time for himself. “I made them.”

“ _Fanks_.” Tommy said, muffled, as he put two of them in his mouth at once. Tubbo giggled. “They're _goof_.”

“I'm glad.”

Tubbo eyed Tommy for a bit — he looked miserable, being completely transparent. His arms were scarred, his hands full of dust and dirt, and his clothes were full of holes, torn apart like he got involved in twenty different fights at once.

He sighed. Worriedly.

The president looked down at himself, his white shirt. He didn't think much before ripping his sleeve from his shoulder down to his hand, immediately getting Tommy's attention. He carefully took one of Tommy's arms and started bandaging it with his ripped out clothing, having Tommy's wide open eyes on him.

“'right. This should work for the time being.” Tubbo smiled up at the blonde boy, who was chewing on cookies. “Is it better?”

“Yeah.” he nodded. “Also, what did you say you wanted to show me? You said you wanted to show me something cool when I was up there.”

Tubbo blinked, and then fidgeted with his own fingers. “Oh, yeah. Do you think you can walk to L'manberg?”

“L—what? L'manberg?” Tommy was excited. He could hear it in his voice, and it made Tubbo's heart sink. “Really?”

“We have to be sneaky, but yes.”

>

“Yeah, it's not been fun either.” Tubbo admitted after Tommy told him some of what Dream did to him. “They want to go to war again, against Technoblade, and then Dream, too, I guess. I don't… I don't want that, you know? But they don't listen to me.”

Tommy hummed, nodding along. “Guess we're both fucked.”

“We are.” Tubbo laughed quietly. “I'm sorry that Dream treated you like that. I had no idea he was doing that to you, too.”

“It's fine.”

Silence. It wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't that bad either.

“Hey, Tommy.”

He looked at Tubbo in the corner of his eye. “Yeah?”

“What would've happened if we ran away that one time?”

_We'd have everything we care about._

_We'd have everything we ever wanted._

“I wouldn't be… president.” Tubbo starts, his voice cracking. “You wouldn't have gotten exiled. We wouldn't have the discs, but we would have each other. We could've gone far away from L'manberg, from the adults that ruined our lives.”

Tommy clenched his fist. He wasn't angry — it was regret.

“Why did we let them give us orders and lose our lives for… this? I just… I think I—”

“We should've.”

Tubbo wiped his tears away with his fingers, smiling. “Yeah.”

Bittersweet.

>

“It's really pretty.”

The Christmas decorations were all over L'manberg, from the community house to the huge Christmas tree illuminating the country. Tommy looked at everything he could lay his eyes on, a big yet sad smile on his face.

Tubbo agreed. “It was Fundy, Ranboo and Puffy who made most of the work. I wanted to help but I didn't have the chance… president work.”

“You work a lot.”

“I hate it.” Tubbo was blant. “It's just… tiresome. It's alright, though.”

The other hummed in response. “Exile is shit. I don't even know where Ghostbur is right now.”

“I haven't seen him either.” He answered. “I can ask around if you want, though.”

“Mhm.” the blonde boy turned around a bit too quickly, making himself trip. Tubbo grabbed his arm in a heartbeat, hiding both of them behind the wall they were next to. Tubbo covered his own mouth and Tommy's at the same time, shushing him before he could even talk.

“ _Did you hear something?_ ” Fundy's voice was heard in the distance.

“ _Huh? No. You're drugged, bro_.” Quackity joked around, and Tubbo could hear Tommy's laugh muffled by his palm.

“ _That was so close. Holy shit_.” Tommy whispered, smiling to Tubbo in a silly way, and his friend — friend? — returning it. “ _We almost got caught._ ”

“ _In 4K_.” Tubbo added. If it wasn't for Tubbo acting quick again and covering Tommy's mouth, he would've gotten into a laughing fit. “ _Tommy!_ ”

“ _Sorry, sorry_.” Tommy coughed in the quietest way he could, stopping himself from chuckling more. “Can I grief someone's house?”

“I believe it would be for the best you don't.” Tubbo laughs. “We might have to go. I know they do these ‘night patrols’ and shit now.”

“Ah…” Tommy exclaimed sadly, staring at the tree one last time. “Okay.”

Tubbo tried his best to give him a smile. “I'm sorry. I can bring you here some other day.”

>

“Did you like coming there?”

“I did.” Tommy smiled to himself as he and Tubbo walked with no destination. They have been walking for a while, but they didn't know where they would get. The biome was snowy, though. “It was—”

“No. It can't be like that, we need to do it another way.”

Dream's voice.

Shit.

“ _Tommy_.” Tubbo whispered, immediately pushing both of them to behind a tree. He held his best friend's shoulders with his hands. “Listen to me, okay? Hey, I'm here.”

“My stuff—”

“It's yours. I promise, I'm not going to take it.” Tubbo swore. “Can you, uh, listen to me, big man?” Tommy nodded, shaking. The young president looked around. “You see that house over there? I don't know whose house it is, but you gotta run. Hide there for now, and be safe. I'll distract him.”

“I don't—I can't do that.” Tommy swallowed his anxiety. “He'll be mad at me.”

“I won't let him get to you. He won't hurt you, I won't allow him. _Hell_ , I won't even let him know you've been here.” Tubbo said, nervously yet a confident smile on his face as he looked up at Tommy. “Trust me. Just one last time.”

“Will you be mad?”

“No. No, I won't.” slowly, Tubbo reached for a hug again. Maybe it would be the last one they would ever share. “I'm so sorry. Be safe.”

“You're so…” Tommy blinked, and Tubbo separated them. 

“Be sneaky. Don't get caught in 4K.” Tubbo smiled, and Tommy had to hold back the tears on the corner of his eyes. “Don't die.”

“You too.”

He chuckled. “We'll see.”

“I'll fucking kill you if you die.”

“That makes no sense. Just go.”

And he did. Waving his last goodbye, Tommy sprinted as fast as he could to that house in the middle of the arctic. Tubbo watched him carefully, trying his best not to cry as well.

Mr. President walked a bit from the wood house, and then proceeded to step out of the forest. Being greeted by Dream instantly, Tubbo put on his best smile of relief. 

“Dream!”

“Hey, Tubbo.” Dream eyed him behind his back, suspiciously. “What are you doing here?”

“I got lost.” Tubbo lied, pullinh out his compass from his pocket and showing it to Dream. “I was going to visit Tommy at Logsted, but since the compass is broken, I didn't get there and can't find my way back to L'manberg.”

“Oh. Oh, I see.” He answers. “I can take you back, if you want. I've heard Tommy isn't doing too good at Losgted, y'know. Maybe it's best you haven't seen him.”

“Thank you, I'd like that.” Tubbo starts trailing off his way back to his country with Dream. “And what do you mean?”

“Well, it's all exploded and stuff. There was also a weird tower.”

>

“What are you doing in my house, Tommy?!”

“You are a bitch!”

**Author's Note:**

> clingy boys come back


End file.
